My mom Patti will be 80 years young on September 27. She's an amazing woman.

This summer we celebrated her birthday every day, we played golf, we walked, we swam, we even played baseball. We enjoyed wonderful food and wine, we spent time with friends and family. And we danced.

We talked, and reminisced. She told me stories about her Mom (my grandmother), who nursed children who had scarlet fever in their neighborhood during "the depression."

Because I won’t be with Mom “on the day,” I sang happy birthday to her every night at dinner for eights weeks. And we danced.

My brother organised a great surprise birthday party for her. Family members decorated the tent with balloons, the kids made a huge pink sign that said "Happy 80th Birthday Patti." We had a band. Friends joined us to celebrate. The tent in which we held the party was filled with love and goodwill. And everyone danced.

It was a joyful summer.

But it was also a summer of sadness and despair. Because, while my Mom is in great shape physically, her memory and her mind are failing.

She remembers the stories of her youth, but she doesn’t remember what she had for lunch. Sometimes she doesn’t remember IF she had lunch.

Once a successful real estate agent who easily recalled the names of dozens of clients, she now sometimes forgets those of her closest friends.

She is often confused, aggressive, angry and impatient. She must be frustrated.

Those who love her, including myself, try hard to be compassionate, not to lose our own patience. Sometimes we fail. When I lose patience, I feel guilty. I feel I have failed her. And then I remind myself that I’m only human, and thus not perfect.

And I remind myself that an illness is not the person who has it.

I re-discovered this summer that amidst despair there can also be joy. And when you find joy, it can be a good thing to dance.

I won't share this blog entry with my Mom. There's no point in feeding despair. But I will share with her comments about our dance video, because it seems to me that there are many reasons for fuelling joy.

Please share your comments after the video at this link.

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written by Kamyar Houbakht, September 09, 2008

The dance was awesome
I am laughing like crazy, as this is the first time I see you dancing

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written by Anne-Marie Eustace, September 10, 2008

I just can't get enough of that dancing video, I love it!

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written by Susan Macaulay, September 10, 2008

Me too lol. When I watch it, I also laugh and smile. It's so joyful

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written by Alison Sutcliffe, October 02, 2008

Hey Suzy, I just wanted to say that I watched the dance video you made with your mum, Patti, this summer when you were back in Canada. It was so poignant and such a lovely way to celebrate your mum's 80th birthday. There was such a joyful, childlike quality to your mum's enthusiasm for dancing. I can see now where you get your love of dancing from. I find the video very soothing to watch. It has a hypnotic, mesmerising quality to it. Two little girls at different points in life's journey standing in the goldenrod .... Utterly charming!

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written by Jackie Hunter-Holt, October 02, 2008

Thanks for sharing your video - it was so lovely and boy can your Mom dance for 80 years young! I hope you had a lot of fun making it but I'm sure it wasn't easy being a Producer, Director and Star too.

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written by Jackie Hunter-Holt, October 02, 2008

And those high kicks and all those costume changes - wonderful!
It made me laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes....

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written by Susan Macaulay, October 02, 2008

Yippee!! It worked I laughed and cried too. XOX

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written by Lynn Hamam, October 14, 2008

I loved the video, the expression of joy and love between you and your Mum is so wonderful. I cried a lot because it reminded me that I will probably not be able to dance with my Mum again as she progressively loses the use of her legs. Life is the here, it's the now, it's joyous moments like these, may your dance continue..... Lx

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written by Heather Legault, October 16, 2008

Sue, I love, love, loved your Dance Video à la Matt with Patti. It was wonderful to see how you captured her playful spirit and joy. What a good sport she is, so willing to do just about anything.

But I cried as I watched it too, for joy I think. I don’t know why it inspired such an emotional reaction in me when it was such a happy thing you did. But then again I cried watching Matt’s Dance Video too. That became something so much larger than just him, didn’t it? And so did yours. You really celebrated Patti’s life and some of the things she loves to do. Too bad you couldn’t have been dancing on the slopes in winter too. The whole thing though I thought was fabulous. I imagine many others will feel the same way and copy your idea.

I will cherish this video and send it to my sons and their wives, that they might be inspired by such a woman as my Aunt Patti. This is a wonderful tribute to your Mum. She’s a wonderful and very special woman. Thank you for sending the Dance Video to me.

Hey, and you look pretty good yourself for an old broad!



Hugs,
Heather

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